What is forgiveness? Forgiveness is when you accept that a hurt or betrayal might not be acknowledged or righted in justice, but that you will continue to live your life without using the betrayal or hurt as the measure against people you love.
When I was younger I thought forgiveness meant that you had to become friends with the person if you forgave them. I didn't understand that forgiveness has nothing to do with the person that hurt you. Forgiveness is the tool in your box that stops betrayal from blocking love in your life.
Forgiveness doesn't ignore the hurt. It's doesn't mean you have to repair a friendship. It doesn't really have anything to do with the other party. It means you aren't going to let the betrayal corrupt you in a way that blocks love. Continually holding on to the betrayal blocks energy patterns. Blocked energy patterns wreak havoc on your spiritual system.
You have 114 chakras in your body. Imagine if the chakra in your little toe was blocked. It might not matter for a few days, but over a lifetime that blocked little chakra is going to affect what shoes your wear, how you walk, where you play, and eventually you will judge everything by what irritates or doesn't irritate that little toe chakra.
Maybe your little toe chakra will always be out of alignment. Should you judge how well your heart works because your little toe is out of alignment? Should you tell your heart that it's not allowed to pump blood efficiently because your toe chakra isn't cooperating? That sounds silly, right? But that's what we do when we have a betrayal that we can't forgive. We start to judge everything based on the betrayal.
What is the path to forgiveness? Heal your trauma. Talk to someone, write it in a journal, face it. Allow it to pass through you. I know it's not fair. You didn't do anything wrong and now you have to do all this work to release the trauma. Welcome to being human.
And how do you forgive yourself? What if you betrayed yourself? Tell the truth. The truth shall set you free. It's not a cliche. Look, I know people do terrible things to each other especially in war and survival. This moral injury does not have to be your capital punishment. Forgiveness doesn't mean it didn't happen. It means you no longer have to hold yourself hostage and loveless.
You're worth it.
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